Don’t Dwell on the Past … Move On
In my last post, I talked about relationships and how to work through things. But sometimes the hurtful party may not be willing to admit they have done anything wrong. What do you do then? You could follow the Biblical principle and take someone with you to try again but even then, your friend may not be open. Sometimes you will need to walk away and let it go. This may not be easy but it is vital.
I have known people who, every time they get together with friends, want to talk about those who have wronged them. Many times the wrongs were commited decades ago but they tell their stories as if it happened last week. If this is you, I implore you to ask God’s forgiveness. Colossians 3:12-13 tells us to “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
When I think about how much God has forgiven me, it makes me want to forgive others. Sure, it’s easier to hold a grudge but, ultimately, it eats a person up and isolates them since no one wants to be around someone who can’t let things go.
Although a lot of people struggle with this issue, I especially notice this in young adults toward their parents. If you are having a hard time getting past the way you were raised, I just want you to know that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. When a young couple has a baby, their lives completely change. They feel emotions of love and tenderness that they never dreamed they possessed but they also feel the weight of the world as reality sinks in and they realize that it is up to them to ensure this child lives to see adulthood. If they are Christian parents, they also have an intense desire to see their sons and daughters grow up to love the Lord, and that may weigh on them as well. Some parents try the strict approach while others prefer to be lenient but I’m convinced that most of them want the very best for their children. If your life did not turn out the way you would have liked, it is not necessarily your parents’ fault. Sure, their decisions affect us but we are responsible for our own actions as we approach adulthood. I even heard about a young man in his 20s who sued his parents because he had never had exotic fruits. I don’t know if he ever told them that this was a desire of his but I can’t imagine that they would have stopped him from buying any fruit he desired once he had his own money. I know there are evil people in the world and, occasionally, this may include parents, but the majority of those who call themselves “Christian” do not fall into this category. If you think about it, I expect you will find plenty to be grateful for. And if your childhood really was bad, you still need to forgive your parents with the same forgiveness that you would like your children to give to you.
If you are struggling with a relationship and you missed my last post, I encourage you to go back and read it. What better time for hurts to be healed than this season as we approach the beginning of another year. God’s mercies are new every morning!
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