Thoughts on Forgiveness

  • 27 December 2017

I have been thinking about forgiveness a lot lately: how important it is, how difficult it can be, and what it looks like. In spite of popular opinion, forgiveness is not always acting as if there is not a problem. It isn’t necessarily reinstating relationship with those who have hurt you. Forgiveness definitely can be manifest in these ways, but it doesn’t have to be. For example, if someone molests your child, you may not allow the offender back into your home or social gatherings, but you will need to make sure that you do not allow bitterness and hatred to fill your heart.

If you have lived for any length of time, no doubt someone has hurt you. It may have been something major like I mentioned above, or it may have been a much lighter infraction but one that hurt just the same. I believe that, in each situation, the key is to be led by the Spirit. There are people that Scripture tells us to stay away from. But there are also times that we need to swallow our pride (which no doubt was hurt) and respond in the love of Jesus despite our heartache. I have done both and they have been equally hard but God’s grace accompanies a heart that is seeking Him and striving to do the right thing.

Scripture tells us that to whom much is given, much is required (Luke 12:48) and that he who is forgiven much loves much (Luke 7:47). Too often, I forget just how much I have been forgiven … but then I read God’s Word, and I see how much I need His forgiveness. How then can I not forgive those who sin against me?

When someone hurts you, I encourage you to do the following:

1) Take time to evaluate the situation. Was the offense intentional or unintentional? Does he or she know that you are hurt by their action?

2) Pray for the person. If the offender wanted to hurt you, pray that God will change his or her heart and bring conviction. If he or she is unaware of the offense, ask God to show you how to graciously point the error out.

3) Read God’s Word. Read verses on forgiveness and ask God to help you to see just how much you have been forgiven–by God and others.

4) Ask for wisdom. Before you act, make sure you know what God desires you to do in the situation, not what your flesh would like to do. Can the relationship continue? To what degree? Relationships are important. Many times, God uses people to help us to grow. There are relationships, however, that hinder that growth and distract us from doing what God has called us to do. These are the ones that we need to distance from no matter how difficult it is to do so.

The Christian life is not always easy but it is rewarding. This next little while, I plan to challenge you, as God is challenging me, to do the hard things that become easier the closer we walk with Him.


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  1. Hilary - December 28, 2017 at 10:08 AM

    Thanks Sony….glad you’re back!

  2. Tom Drale - December 28, 2017 at 12:53 PM

    Hi Sony, It’s been a long time since I have received an email from you. So nice to hear from you. Please keep my on your email list.
    Tom Drake

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