Reflection

More Than You Can Bear?

  • Posted on August 4, 2022 at 11:53 pm
If you have ever made the statement, “This is unbearable,” you may have been correct. There is a common misconception that God does not give His children more than they can bear, but this is not true. Many martyrs experienced horrendous things that were unbearable except for the immense grace they received from the Father. It was more than they could humanly bear, but it wasn’t more than He could.
Life is not easy, even for Christians. This is what makes the promise of Heaven that much sweeter. This world is not our final home, but it is where God has us at this point. Therefore, we need to learn how to cast our burdens onto Him. I confess that I am not good at this yet. I go through life as though everything depends on me until I reach the point of exhaustion and realize that I have been trying to deal with life in my own strength.
If you are experiencing heartache, I urge you to give your burden to Jesus. Lean on Him. It will not eliminate the pain, but it may make it more manageable.
Image by Ulrike Mai from Pixabay

Check Your Attitude

  • Posted on July 13, 2022 at 4:44 pm

I confess that my attitude is not always what it should be, especially when I’m tired or surprised. Since it is impossible to predict every situation that might arise and since I do not always get the sleep that my body thinks it needs, it is important that I stay close to the Lord and try to be pleasant, even when I do not like how things are playing out.

We live in a world where the common thought is to not let others treat you badly, but sometimes when I listen to another’s story, I feel like they overreacted to the situation, and that what was asked of them was not out of line. It’s funny how it seems major when I am the one offended, but when I am not emotionally charged, I can evaluate someone else and see things differently.

Pride is a hard trait to overcome. It is “right there,” ready to surface at any moment. Many relationships have been severed by one or both parties being unwilling to lay down their pride for the sake of friendship or brotherly love. As much as I pray to stay in tune with the Spirit, I too can hit the place of feeling like it’s not worth it to bite my tongue and refuse to be offended when someone says or does something I don’t like. Life is short, however, and one day that person who said or did “the wrong thing” will no longer be here. It’s important that I not be the one to cause that riff with those that God has placed in my life.

I have been tested on this last night and today so this is my own reminder as well as something that I expect my readers deal with. Don’t let the sun set on your anger. Refrain from letting petty things cause you to be unkind. Ask for God’s help when you’re struggling. That’s what I’m doing, and I don’t doubt that He will answer this prayer of each one of us who seek Him.

Bridging the Generation Gap

  • Posted on July 7, 2022 at 7:01 pm

I just finished reading As Iron Sharpens Iron by Howard Hendricks and, although the book was written to men during the Promise Keepers era, it gave me a lot of food for thought.

About ten years ago, I began to feel a void of older women who were willing to pour into a younger woman to whom they were not related. Although being an age that should render itself to both physical and spiritual maturity, I really wanted an older woman who would take me under wing, be a sounding board, give me counsel, pray with me when I needed it, etc. I decided that older women did not want that responsibility. They had lives of their own and were unwilling to invest their time and energy in that way.

On the flip side, I have heard older women complain that young women do not want to learn from them, and the more I have studied the last couple of generations, I must concede that they are right. Young women today tend to treat older women as though they don’t understand what today’s moms go through, as though life were easier when Grandma was raising children. Peers and blogs are the go-tos while the ones who toiled and sacrificed to bring us where we are today get overlooked.

Ever since I was a young girl, I loved to hang out with older girls. When I was under ten, those girls were teenagers. As a teenager, I preferred to be with women in their 20s and 30s. In my 30s, I found that my friends were often 10 to 20 years older than I was. And so it went. Now that I’m approaching 50, I still love to spend time with older women and am grateful for those who allow me to do so.  I learn a lot by listening and observing them. But I also try to be available to my sisters or younger women who want to get together. I don’t know if I am inputting into their lives in any meaningful way, but I would rather make an effort than not do so.

I don’t know where you find yourself in the seasons of life, but I would like to remind you that you should always be learning and growing. Don’t neglect the older people in your life who might know a few more things than you give them credit for. But don’t fail to listen to young people either. You may be coming from two different worlds, but maybe you can help each other understand where the generation gap is and seal it a bit.

Random Thoughts 6/27/22

  • Posted on June 27, 2022 at 8:04 pm

Hey Everyone, It’s hard to believe that the year is half over already. It’s amazing how much can happen in a six-month time period, but it seems like there is always something going on.

Our year began with news of our mom’s death in January. Having lost my last two grandparents in the last three years, I thought I had finally experienced grief. The loss of a parent is a whole different ballgame, especially when that parent is still relatively young. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to lose a spouse or a sibling. My heart goes out to those I know who have had close loved ones die in the last few years. I know now from experience how hard that journey can be.

Although Mom is gone, life for us goes on. God continues to open doors for my brother to speak, and I do not lack the perfect amount of editing work. Scripture tells us not to worry about tomorrow because God knows how strong that tendency is. For myself, it is easy to fret over things that I have no control over. Precisely because I can’t control those things. As if I am better at planning my life than God is. How He must laugh as I tie myself in knots wondering what I’m going to do if conferences dry up and manuscripts stop coming in. His laughter is not sinister, however. He wraps me in His arms and reminds me that He will continue to care for me. I pray that I will continue to look to Him and to grow in the trust that I need to have, O me of little faith.

Our family is no stranger to trials, and we are going through yet another one. As He always does, God brings songs and Scriptures to mind. Today, it was the Freemans’ song, “He won’t keep you from the trial, but He’ll sure keep you through.” I can testify that this is the case. That doesn’t mean that I don’t cry a lot and ask God to comfort and hold me, but I do know that He is here. He has not forsaken us. I trust that this test too will become a testimony. It just may take some time.

They say that the key to not focusing on yourself is to encourage others, and I acknowledge that this is a good strategy. It is not wrong to reach out and let your friends know when you are struggling, however. In the Christian life, meekness is not weakness. Most likely, someone would like to walk with you through your valley, but you must invite them to do so. The majority of caring people won’t pry, but they will be happy to pray if you inform them of your need.

I hope that you all are doing well and staying close to the Lord in spite of whatever is happening in your life. I’ve shared some of my struggles. Some of you are going through similar things; some are going through trials that are very different from mine; and some are getting a much-needed reprieve. Regardless of where you are at in the journey of life, don’t forget to daily thank your Father for His love and His goodness. Draw near to Him, and He has promised to draw near to you. May God bless each of you, dear readers. Keep the faith and try not to become discouraged. Before we know it, we too will be Home. I, for one, am looking ever more forward to that day.

 

Who Are Your Heroes?

  • Posted on May 25, 2022 at 8:23 pm

If you ask a child this question, the answer might be Mom or Dad or maybe a pastor or a teacher. A teen would no doubt list a superhero, actor, or sports icon. I like how my pastor’s wife summed it up last night though. She said something to the effect of, “If someone hasn’t accomplished something for the Lord or exhibited Godly character, that is not a person I wish to emulate.”

One of the definitions that Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary gives for the word “hero” is “a person admired for achievements and noble qualities.” By that definition, I do have some heroes, but they are people that no one knows.

My mom was an amazing person. She wasn’t perfect by any means, but she raised six of us as a single parent, homeschooled us, started her own business, and emphasized the importance of really knowing God and hearing His voice.

I have several friends who have adopted children or have special needs children. These parents hold my utmost respect.

But my greatest heroes are people like my grandparents who were faithful to God, to each other, and to whatever He called them to do. Those are the people I want to emulate.

I should insert here that there is a difference between respect and idolization. If you put someone on a pedestal, they will inevitably fall off. However, as impossible as it seems, there are people who continue to run the Christian race as well as they can, and these are the ones you should be following.

In a world where apostasy is running rampant, I encourage you to get in the Word, read biographies of Christians of long ago who lived their lives surrendered to the Lord, find those who are seeking God with their whole hearts, and spend time with them. Ask God to make you one of those examples for others who need to see hope.

As you ask yourself what kind of heroes you have, I hope that your answer does not reflect pop icons but rather centers on people who reflect Jesus Christ. Our light will continue to be dim until we become more like Him.

CD Report: Oh, How I Love Him (The Fosters)

  • Posted on April 29, 2022 at 4:06 pm

A couple of years ago, I was contacted by Andrew and Devi Foster, asking if I would listen to their CD and consider reviewing it. I learned from my mom to never promise a review before becoming familiar with the product, but I’m always interested in new music so I agreed to listen. Since that time, I have listened to it a number of times, and I am happy to be able to introduce you to this couple.

Smooth vocals along with songs that bring you into the presence of Jesus make this a CD that isn’t easy to tire of. Even if you’re not a southern gospel fan per se, I encourage you to listen to the clips on their website.

Songs included are: I Know What Prayer Can Do, The Beauty of His Name, He’ll Find a Way, You Must Be Born Again, and Down from His Glory.

I especially like this last song. I’ve listened to Jeff Stice play it many times and love the tune so I have appreciated getting to know the words as well.

From Triumph to Tragedy

  • Posted on April 15, 2022 at 8:33 pm

And when He had come into Jerusalem, all the city was moved, saying, “Who is this?”

So the multitudes said, “This is Jesus, the prophet from Nazareth of Galilee.”  ~Matthew 21:10-11

For much of Jesus’ ministry, he didn’t want a lot of fanfare, but when he rode into Jerusalem, the whole city paid attention. Those who didn’t know Jesus before were hearing about Him now and wanting to know, “Who is this man? He is obviously an important person. Do tell.”

I am glad I don’t know the future, but Jesus did know that the glory He was receiving now would be short-lived. These fickle people who were singing His praises would be crying out for His crucifixion in no time.

It’s amazing how quickly people can change their minds depending on the atmosphere and views of their peers. This is why it’s important to know what you believe and why, to know the Bible so well that no one can sway your opinion just because it sounds good or is the common view.

On this day of triumph, Jesus didn’t act any differently than usual. He cleared the temple of sellers, healed people, rebuked Pharisees, and taught His disciples. Just a typical day in our Savior’s life.

Fast forward to the night of Passover. Jesus eats and drinks with His disciples, knowing that it will be the last time that He does so this side of Heaven. He tried to brace them for that fact, but they couldn’t grasp it. Jesus was young. He hadn’t attained His kingdom yet. Surely, He must be joking. Little did they know how quickly their lives were going to change.

And because of Jesus, our lives should be changed as well. I think people often want to bypass the Cross and get to the Resurrection. We are eager to reign with Him, but we don’t want to go through the suffering that this entails. We despise the thought of crucifying our flesh, thinking there must be a way to have the world and Heaven too, but it doesn’t work that way. If you want to know where you are at with the Lord, examine yourself in the light of His Word. He is our litmus test. Are you willing to be obedient to the Father unto death? Have you truly surrendered all? Does your life reflect His ways in everything that you do? We can learn so much from His life and His death. Yes, Sunday is coming, but Friday is here. Maybe Saturday by the time you read this. This is a time to be sober, to put yourself in the disciples’ shoes. What would it be like to watch someone crucified for crimes they didn’t commit? Someone that you have spent every day with for the last three years? Someone whom you’ve grown to depend on? Whom you love dearly? If you are a professing Christian, it shouldn’t be hard to imagine this since you should feel the same way about this man. I like how Dottie Rambo put it:

He left the splendor of Heaven
Knowing His destiny
Was the lonely hill of Golgotha
There to lay down His life for me.

If that isn’t love
The ocean is dry
There’s no stars in the sky
And the sparrow can’t fly

If that isn’t love
Then Heaven’s a myth
There’s no feeling like this
If that isn’t love

You would have to be pretty hard-hearted to look at the Cross and everything that Christ suffered and yet not feel anything. I pray that I do not become that calloused but that I continue to become ever more like Him.

Guest Post: Is it Time to Forgive? by Tricia Goyer

  • Posted on March 31, 2022 at 4:52 pm

Sony’s Comments: I feel like I have done my share of forgiving in my 48+ years of life and, honestly, I’d like to not have to keep doing so. In the past couple months, I have been once again given the opportunity to forgive someone. It is not easy, and I’m still working through it, but with God’s help, I trust that I will. I think I have only shared one or two guest posts in the history of my blog, but when I saw the title of Tricia Goyer’s recent email, I knew I needed to read it. If you have lived for any length of time, you have most likely been hurt by someone. Probably by someone close to you. I hope you were able to forgive that person, squelching the root of bitterness that wanted to take hold. With Tricia’s permission, I am sharing her thoughts from her recent email. I pray you will take them to heart.

******************************************************************************************************

I’ve never watched a hockey game, but recently a friend explained the penalty box to me. He explained that if a player commits a personal foul in ice hockey, he is sent to the penalty box. Having a player in the penalty box hurts the whole team. They are short-handed and miss out on the player’s skills.

Like in hockey, sometimes we send people who hurt us to the penalty box. We want them to “pay” for what they’ve done, yet we forget that we’re also hurting ourselves. Instead of confronting the other person and seeking to work together to make things right, we will often push the other person away or pull away ourselves. And unlike hockey, there is no set time limit to when people can get out of the penalty box. I’ve heard stories of family members or friends missing out on years of each other’s lives over minimal offenses. Instead, it’s much better to forgive.

​Many of us don’t understand forgiveness. It does not mean forgetting that something wrong was done. It’s not saying that the other person’s action didn’t matter. Instead, forgiveness is “giving” the other person’s wrong action to God and letting Him deal with it. It’s handing it over and saying, “This was wrong, and it hurt, but I’m giving it to you now to handle.” It’s not easy to forgive, yet it’s often even more challenging to keep someone in the penalty box and miss out on the relationship. More than that, learning to forgive well now will help us in every relationship, including marriage. Especially marriage. Learning to forgive and seek forgiveness gives us a tender heart instead of one surrounded by high walls.

​Forgiveness isn’t just something good to do. It’s something that will transform our hearts more and more every time we give others over to God for him to handle. It’s allowing God to turn hurt into healing in our relationships.

​Who do you need to forgive by turning their offense over to God to handle? Then, what can God do in and through you once you are free?

 

Prayer:

Father God, I understand forgiveness, but I admit that I often want to fight it. I know I’m supposed to forgive, but I can’t do it alone. God, can You help me forgive now so that my heart will be tender in every relationship? I trust that when I hand things over to You, You will deal with them according to Your wisdom. Thank You for handling the things that hurt me. I pray You will give me a tender heart. I ask this in the name of Your son, Jesus. Amen.

Tricia Goyer is a wife, homeschooling mom of 10, and author of over 80 books. You can connect with Tricia at www.TriciaGoyer.com.

The Golden Rule

  • Posted on March 24, 2022 at 4:04 pm

It saddens me when people do things out of spite, selfishness, or just to be mean. Many quarrels could be ended with one act of kindness but too often, people are focused on their own hurts and feelings that they don’t even try to put themselves in another’s shoes.

We live in a society where the emphasis is on not being walked over, pushed around, etc. Yet Christ taught us to turn the other cheek, to pray for those who persecute us. I don’t believe that this requires anyone to remain in an obvious abusive situation, but I will say that people get offended way too easily and, often, that offense leads to actions that do not honor God.

A number of years ago, I began to question certain things in order to discern right from wrong. I decided that, if the response to a situation was not clearly outlined in Scripture, a good rule of thumb is to follow Matthew 7:12:

Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

I realize that this does not always work. For myself, a latte and a hug from a friend does wonders to cheer me up while others detest coffee and really are not that huggy so these things would not bring comfort to them at all. Some people want to be left alone when they are in a valley while others wish they had someone to talk to. In these cases, a key is knowing a person well enough to minister to them in a way that will cause them to feel love. That said, you cannot often go wrong with basic courtesy.

I knew someone who would attend a church for a while and then become upset with the church and leave. When she left, she disliked everyone who still attended said church. This resulted in her going out of her way to avoid them whenever she could. Every once in a while, someone would see her and go to give her a hug, but she would intentionally keep her arms down to make it known that she was not reciprocating any warm feelings for this person. When asked about this later, she replied that she didn’t want to be a hypocrite, but the saddest part was that many of these people did not do anything to her. She just held them guilty by association.

I don’t believe that it is ever wrong to show love to someone no matter how much they have hurt you. If the offense was serious, you don’t need to be friends with the person, but it should be a rare occasion that you would be rude. Don’t lie to a person and say “Good to see you” if you’re not happy to see them, but it’s not wrong to nod an acknowledgement in passing or at least smile as you walk by.

When you feel your anger start to get the better of you and you want to punish someone for how they have “hurt” you, ask yourself how you would want them to respond to you. For myself, I want to receive forgiveness and mercy when I do things that annoy others. I want people to bear with me when I drop the ball. Therefore, I want to show these traits to others. Jesus said:

For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.  ~Matthew 7:2

This isn’t talking about righteous judgment, but rather harsh judgment and retaliation. We are to shine God’s light here on earth, and we can’t do that if we are busy focusing on ourselves and our “rights.” The world does a good enough job at this, but it does not befit a Christian.

Your Choices Matter

  • Posted on March 10, 2022 at 6:40 pm

 

I don’t remember if I wrote on this topic recently or if I just thought about it, but it bears repeating. Your choices do not just affect you. They affect those close to you as well. I do not have tolerance for people who blame their actions on others, but I have also begun to understand how others’ actions do affect those around them.

For example, if you abuse your child, it would be wrong for your child to abuse his child even though his reaction is most likely due to built-up anger accumulated from his childhood. However, if you were to get control of your anger and stop abusing your child, she would most likely parent differently when her time came. I’ve heard parents make the statement, “They didn’t learn that from me,” but whether they learned their exact behavior from you or are acting out for another reason, it’s possible that something from their childhood has contributed to the decisions they are making today.

I see this especially in divorce cases. Moms and dads are so focused on their own hurts and their anger towards each other that they don’t realize how it is affecting the children until the children begin to act out, and they can’t figure out why. So they blame each other which only makes things worse. Putting others’ needs before our own isn’t easy, but it is the way of Christ.

Just like I would still tell young people that they cannot blame others for their actions, I would tell adults to weigh the things you say and do. Others are watching and, whether you like it or not, they may follow in your footsteps.

I hate that everything needs disclaimers these days, but I expect this post does. I know parents who did the best they could to love each other and their children, and they still suffered heartache. I am in no way blaming you for every decision your child makes. But I do think that it’s important to humble yourself before the Lord and ask Him to show you if you have contributed in some way to your child’s view of God or of you. If you have, then don’t hesitate to acknowledge it and ask for forgiveness. If you still feel like you did the best you could to honor God in your marriage and parenting, then rest in that and continue to show God’s love to your wayward child. Above all, don’t stop interceding. God is the only One who is able to change the hardest of hearts.

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